The best gaming April Fools’ Day jokes of 2026

Many want to sunset April Fools’ Day, and by that I mean take it to the back and shoot it. Still, its infamy stems from the systemic misuse of a cool premise. It can be done right, so let’s look at the best April Fools’ jokes in gaming this year.

Codename 47 killed baldness

Baldness is an issue many men have to deal with and most fear. Codename 47 from the Hitman series seemed to be an exception, a man whose lack of hair never prevented him from going unnoticed even in the hairiest of glam metal concerts, but that has recently changed.

The official Twitter account for the Hitman series has just announced “H.A.I.R.,” or Hostile Area Integration Resource, a new device that’ll apparently help 47 blend in even better in every situation, and that looks just like a bunch of different wigs. My favorite one is seemingly inspired by Leon S. Kennedy’s look, though it’s less likely to make you go by unnoticed and more likely to get enemies to ignore you out of fear of getting suplexed.

Sega’s logo gets a long-overdue makeover

That’s right, time to say goodbye to SEGA’s classic logo, and say hello to its new logo, which is the same but three percent lighter. You can see the results via Sega’s official Twitter account, provided your eyes are good enough.

Honestly, I’m not even sure if the new logo is actually any brighter, and Sega’s social media team not even bothering to make the change would’ve made this one even funnier. And it’s a simple joke, sure, but it really made me appreciate how Sega has kept its really unique logo this entire time.

PowerWash Simulator, dirty version

If you’re wondering what’s next for the people behind the PowerWash Simulator series, well, it’s Date the Dirt, a “dirty” dating simulator, but of course.

This is probably one of the jokes with the most heart put into it, and I’m really digging the wordplay here.

With writing like that of a flirty character named “Dust” refusing to “settle,” this is one of those jokes that I wouldn’t be surprised to see turned into an actual game sometime in the near future.

You can see a Pokémon running for 10 hours

Did you think Twitch plays Pokémon was silly? What about that event where a sicko had a fish playing Pokémon? Well, right now we have a livestream of Starmie running for 10 hours.

One of the most common kinds of April Fools’ jokes is when a company announces a product just silly enough to still be believable, but you only find isn’t real when you click the link to learn you got fooled by some silly graphics and some clown noises. This is not that. I’ve been staring at this thing for at least 10 seconds now, and I’m starting to believe the Mega Starmie really has it in itself to run the whole 10 hours.

Satisfactory for guys

The biggest problem with Satisfactory, a first-person game where we never even see the main character, has always been that we’re not playing as a man.

Well, not anymore, as we’ll now finally get to play Satisfactory as a man, or, like I like to call it, Satisfactory Men.

As “Jason”, we now get to shoot helpless animals, leave dangerous waste lying around, and even drive what looks a lot like a Tesla Cybertruck, the best and coolest vehicle ever.

Sonic the Hedgehog is dead

Sonic the Hedgehog’s official Twitter account is one of the best reasons to remain on the cursed platform. For those who don’t know, this is not a platform mostly used to share news of Sonic games, but rather a very puzzling official account where Sonic himself or a mysterious entity posing as him shares all kinds of comedy gold.

This time, we have the series finale of Sonic, whatever that means, but it’s clearly a tribute to the series finale of The Sopranos, which, just like this short video, ends with the screen bizarrely turning to black mid-scene.

That scene puzzled many fans of this definitely-not-for-kids show for decades, but The Sopranos creator David Chase has recently put all doubts to rest, explaining that the screen turned to black because Tony Soprano had been killed, so yeah, Sonic is also dead now, and I hope Big the Cat did it. Happy April Fool’s.

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The Assessor Matrix is a new crafting material that you can find in ARC Raiders as part of the Flashpoint update. This material can only be found during a specific map condition, and you’ll need it for different reasons.

First, let’s find out how you can obtain the material.

How to get the Assessor Matrix in ARC Raiders

To find the Assessor Matrix, you’ll need to wait for the Close Scrutiny event. While this event only appears during a certain time of day, it can be active on any of the available maps (except Stella Montis).

When this map condition is active, ARC Assessors will spawn on the map at random locations. To get the Assessor Matrix, you’ll need to loot the dropships. However, this is easier said than done. Once you’re near one, look at the sky to spot three red beams.

Every Assessor has three containers for you to breach and search for loot. Enemies will guard these containers, so you’ll need to be careful. Once you’re near the ship, wait for the platform to show up. Use the platform to climb up and search the containers. If you’re in a group, any two of you should keep the ARCs distracted.

If you’re lucky, you should be able to find the Assessor Matrix in the containers. You could even obtain the blueprint for the Dolabra, which is a new shotgun.

As you might have found out in the first 24 hours since the Flashpoint update, it’s not easy to loot an Assessor. Here are a few tips and tricks that have worked well for me.

• Use a Photoelectric Cloak. Using it is tricky, as you can’t use a gun, so it’s pretty easy to get targeted by other raiders. However, this device will complete mask your presence and hide you from every ARC enemy in the vicinity. It’s a great device to use if you want to loot without getting stuck in a fight.
• Smoke Grenades are a must as you’ll want to hide your location from other raiders. You can use it to quickly loot the containers and escape without getting shot by other players/ARCs.
• Having your buddies will be helpful, as will be heavy hitters like the Hullcrackers. Since the Assessor can also have Vaporizers nearby, bring a Wolfpack or two to melt them in seconds.

How to use the Assessor Matrix in ARC Raiders

So far, the Assessor Matrix appears to be required for completing the stages of the recent High-Gain Antenna player project. This project has three different stages, and you’ll need the Assessor Matrix to complete the tasks of the second and third stages.

It’s definitely worth taking the extra risk to collect the Assessor Matrix when the Close Scrutiny event is active.

The post How to get and use Assessor Matrix in ARC Raiders appeared first on Destructoid.